Myths around fostering teenagers
Some people may at first feel intimidated by the thought of fostering teenagers. This is no surprise when our mainstream media often depicts teens as anti-social. Whether it’s the ASBO stereotype of the 1990’s to early 2010’s or the current narrative that teens are obsessed with their phones an unwilling to socialise, teenagers often get unfair treatment in our society.
This is especially true for teenagers who have experience of being in the foster care system. Prejudice against care-experienced people has been widely documented, with several recent campaigns calling for care experience to be made a protected characteristic under UK law.
The truth is, fostering teens can be an incredibly rewarding, fun and life-changing experience. Currently, we have a UK-wide shortage of foster parents who are ready to open up their homes to teens. Because of this need, we’re always eager to encourage our foster parents to consider fostering a teenager, and we love to welcome more foster parents who are passionate about giving teenagers the chance to become part of a loving and accepting family.
Teenage brain development and trauma
If you’ve ever looked at a teen and thought, “what is going on in their head—?” The answer is an awful lot! Throughout puberty our brains undergo enormous changes. These changes explain many of the behaviours which we associate with teens, including poor impulse control, self-consciousness and risk-taking. The brain also undergoes synaptic pruning, where old synaptic connections are recycled to make room for new ones; this largely happens when a teenager is asleep, and along with hormonal changes may explain their reluctance to get out of bed at this age.
For teenagers in care, the brain-based effects of approaching young adulthood can be made more complicated by the effects of living with trauma as a result of their early childhood experiences. Trauma can have a negative impact on a child’s development, influencing areas including their brain’s threat, reward and memory systems. Here at FCA we aim to provide therapeutic foster care which is tailored to each child’s needs, recognising how trauma may have an impact on their development.
Unique challenges for teens in care
- Finding a home. Older children are sadly less likely to be fostered. Because of a shortage of foster parents who are able to welcome teenagers, many older children live in supported accommodation or shared homes. While these forms of accommodation provide children with a safe place to stay and guidance from staff, they don’t provide the same benefits which can be found in a loving family home environment, and the sense of belonging which comes with being part of a family unit.
- Sibling separation. When a group of siblings are removed from their family home, an effort will be made to keep the children together. However, as there are few foster parents who can welcome sibling groups, older children are often separated from their younger siblings. This may do long-term damage to their relationship and sense of self and can be especially challenging for children who have experienced parentification (where they may have had to take on the role of being a caregiver to their younger siblings).
- Adultification. It is often easy to forget that teenagers are still children, and to treat them as though they were adults. Because teens are seen as having more autonomy than younger children, they can be unfairly labelled as ‘imperfect victims’ who need to be reformed rather than cared for. Some may even fall prey to victim-blaming because of an assumption that teenagers are taken into care because of bad behaviour— this is a false stereotype. Instead, children enter the care system because of a range of traumatic home experiences which are never their fault. These can include losing family members, facing neglect or being a victim of abuse.
- Vulnerability to exploitation. Children in care are especially vulnerable to predatory behaviour from adults, including sexual exploitation and county lines recruitment by gangs. Teens are much more likely to be victimized by someone outside of the home than a younger child would be due to their independence from their caregivers. By becoming a foster parent to a teenager, you’ll be providing them with a caring and protective family environment which can help to shield them from exploitation.
5 benefits of fostering teenagers
There are so many reasons to foster a teenager, and by doing so you’ll be making a huge difference. Here are just a few fantastic reasons why you should consider fostering a teen:
Help the children most in need of somewhere safe to stay. Many teenagers will have gone through a variety of moves while in care, leaving them with a lack of stability. By opening up your home to teenagers you’ll be giving teens a safe family environment to grow and thrive in, giving them stability and support during a crucial time in their development.
Help prepare them for adulthood. Preparing to enter the adult world can be a scary time, especially for children who have grown up without a safe and secure home life. By welcoming a teenager into your family, you’ll have the opportunity to teach them important life skills, prepare them for the world of work and shape their future for the better. As well as teaching them practical skills, you will also help them to develop essential social and emotional skills, including modelling healthy relationships and helping them to learn to trust others.
Build a lifelong bond. Many foster parents find that looking after teens is the right fostering path for them for a variety of reasons. These include the fact that caring for teens involves less running around than with little children, and that teens are often more independent, giving you more flexibility. Fostering teenagers also allows you to connect on a more mature level and develop deep bonds based on mutual interests. Your special connection doesn’t have to end once they turn eighteen, either; many young adults who have lived in long-term fostering stay with their family until they are ready to leave home, under an arrangement known as ‘Staying Put.’
Change the life of a sanctuary-seeking child. Most unaccompanied children who come to the UK seeing asylum are teenage boys. These children often come from economically deprived and war-torn countries and arrive seeking safety and a better life. They may arrive afraid and exhausted, speaking little or no English and having no support system around them. By becoming a foster parent to a sanctuary-seeking child, you can provide these vulnerable children with care, protection and the promise of a brighter future.
Benefit from support from FCA. Here at FCA we’ll support you on your journey to fostering a teenager, with a range of specialised training and a higher rate of fostering allowance for those who choose to take care of older children. We also run events appropriate for teens where they can make new friends who share their experiences, as well as support groups and coffee mornings for out foster parents. Learn more about how our wide range of support can help your family.
Can you foster a teenager?
If you’re considering fostering a teenager, be assured that you could make the world of difference to not only a child’s life now, but to their future. Why not check out our page to learn more about fostering teens, or enquire with us today to speak directly with one of our friendly fostering advisors.
