Important Skills Needed to be a Foster Carer

6 Must-have Skills For Fostering Children

Empathy

Being in care affects children in so many different ways, and their young brains can struggle to process what’s going on. Triggers from the past and being removed from their home can lead to disruptive behaviour, attachment issues or the onset of mental health disorders. If you’re a naturally empathetic person, you’ll understand that these children aren’t bad people, but they’re hurting, scared and confused. They need a foster parent who can look beyond the behaviour to help them heal.

Resilience

A lot of children in foster care have experienced abuse, neglect, the loss of a loved one, domestic violence or family breakdown. Living through these traumatic events can lead kids down the path of using destructive coping mechanisms as a way of dealing with emotions. They may be defiant and act out at school, experiment with drugs and alcohol to numb the pain or have a general distrust and lack of respect for figures of authority. Foster parents need to have a thick skin to deal with challenging behaviour, but also know not to take it personally. Both of which are important skills needed to be a foster carer.

Good communication

Communication skills for fostering children are a top priority. Being friendly and chatty in nature is one thing, but knowing how to speak to children on their level is another. Young children and teenagers communicate differently to adults, so being savvy in reading body language and picking up on changes in behaviour are good examples of parenting skills for foster parents. You may also foster autistic children who have delayed or limited speech. Adapting to different ways of getting through to people is a great asset for any future foster parent.

As a foster parent, you’ll also be expected to communicate regularly with different people in your foster child’s support network. This includes social workers, doctors, teachers, therapists, the birth family and potentially even legal personnel if there are court cases pending. Being able to listen, share your perspective and advocate for your foster child are must-have skills for fostering.

Patience

As they say, patience is a virtue, and that certainly rings true as a skill for fostering children. It’s important you’re aware that change doesn’t happen overnight and you don’t expect too much too soon. Fostering children requires a lot of patience, as you need to work at their pace while still encouraging positive change. This also ties in with being resilient. Being a foster parent means you can’t give up easily, especially when so many children in care have already been let down by those who were supposed to care for them.

Compassion

Being kind and caring is pretty much the bread and butter when talking about skills and being a foster carer. Being placed into a new environment can cause all sorts of emotions to come out (or cause children to bottle feelings up). They might be triggered by certain things that means they lash out, or they may struggle with emotional regulation due to complex trauma, but the sign of being a good foster parent is being able to show compassion even when you don’t always get it back.

Conflict resolution

Staying calm in stressful situations is one of the key skills for fostering. Like in any parent-child dynamic, there will be moments of friction, but it’s how you deal with it that matters. The children in your care need love, support and kindness, but they also need to understand boundaries and follow rules. It’s an important part of a child’s learning and development.

Pretty much every kid will push their parents’ buttons and test their limits, but a good foster parent is able to keep cool and apply positive methods of discipline that influence change. You want them to look up to you, reach out to you and also respect you as their caregiver. If you’re able to resolve issues without raising your voice or using forms of discipline that cause physical or emotional discomfort (such as restricting a meal, demanding pushups or making them sit in a dark room) then you’ve got much wanted skills for fostering.